Six months ago, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy little bundle of joy. Little did I know, what I was actually in for.... :)
When thinking about my birthing experience, I feel as if I could do that 100 more times! (however, I wont be doing that) It was perfect, and I couldn't have asked for anything more! The few weeks that followed are, well, a different story.
I knew it would be hard, but nobody can prepare you for it. I will say I had a little more on my plate then just "having a baby." Most people give birth and go home with a baby....I gave birth, went home to my mom's house with a baby, moved to Tulsa one week later, and my husband started medical school that same week! It was a bit of a whirlwind. I'm so grateful for family! My sister Laura spent one night with us, so that Ross and I could get a GREAT nights sleep! My mom was definitely a Godsend! She came and stayed with me for several days to help me get situated in my new home with my new baby.
To let you know exactly how I was feeling....My mom, Hadley, and I were running errands. My mom suggested we stop at a certain place, but only if I thought Hadley could handle it. I quickly replied..."WELL, I DON'T KNOW HER." That is exactly how I felt. "I don't know her"..."What is she suppose to do" ..."Will she always just lay there"...."Why am I crying more than she is"..."Will this get easier?" To say the least, it was rough.
HOWEVER!!!!! As I was laying in bed last night, I was overcome with pure JOY and EXCITEMENT! I DID IT!!
I am Hadley's mommy! It feels so good to know that I:
- Know when she is hungry
- Know when she is sleepy
- Know what toy she likes best
- Know that she likes to be held a certain way for her cat nap
- Know what songs she likes best
- Know she didn't like to sleep on her tummy, but now that is all she does
- Know she likes to play with my hair
- Know what gets her to open her mouth so she can eat her rice cereal
- Know her napping/sleepy schedule to a "T"
- Know that she will STARE at all new things and people until it becomes a usual in her sight
- Know her different cries: scared (the worst one), hungry, sleepy, pain.
- Know that she would rather suck her thumb than a pacifier
- Know when she is happy, she likes to kick her legs
- Know that she loves the water, and her bath time
- Know that she likes it when I blow on her neck
And of course my FAVORITES are:
- Her face will light up when she sees my face
- If she hears my voice, she will look around the room until she finds me
- When I go to wake her up in the morning, she knows that I turn on the lamp and open the drapes...I know she will kick her legs on the bed because she is so excited to see me
- That I can make her truly laugh....a good belly laugh!
- I know how to soothe her so she will be comforted and stop crying.
- Mommy knows best...and Mommy knows how to fix everything :)
I may be just a "stay at home mom" but let me tell you...it's tough. I think the hardest part is not "what" you have to do, it's simply that you are always taking care of someone else.
I would NOT EVER trade the past six months for anything! The Lord did not give me anything I could not handle. There are no words to describe the feeling I get, knowing that to my baby, I am her world. She loves me unconditionally, and I have never been happier than I am at this moment.
Hadley bug, I love you! You and your daddy are my world. You are my best friend. We will have many a day together, and I am looking forward to each and every one! You make me smile, laugh, cry with tears of happiness/love/joy/fulfilment. My cup runneth over!
If you saw this face everyday, wouldn't you fall in love too??.............
