He Broke Me...

My last workout before Christmas, and it was brutal.  I have been working out with my trainer 3 times a week, for 3 weeks now.  I am loving it!  I love the motivation and accountability factor.  Every workout is hard, but today was just that much harder. 

As I have said before, the push that I needed to go join a gym came from The Biggest Loser.  My favorite contestant was Antone...I loved him, and I feel like I can relate to him the best. 

Here is a picture of Antone in his prime playing for the NFL...



Growing up, I was always active.  I was thin, fit, and strong...I could tumble and jump...and in my head, I am still that way.  HOWEVER, when I look in the mirror, I don't see "her" anymore. 

Antone used to play in the NFL.  After he retired, he let himself get to be over 447lbs.  On one of the "challenges" they had on the show, three current NFL players came to workout with the contestants.  The announcer kept saying "3 NFL players"..."3 NFL players" and Antone later commented that there were 4 NFL players on the field that day, yet nobody saw him as that.  It literally broke my heart, because I knew how he felt.  

Whether or not anybody else "sees" me that way, I want to see myself as fit and strong again.  I don't only want to be able to "do it in my head"...I want to teach and most importantly show Hadley how to do a handstand and cartwheels etc.   

One of the first episodes where Antone is "broken"...

I will say, my trainer did push me today.  His intention was not to "break" me, but sometimes when I am that spent, as girly as it sounds, the tears start coming. 

Even though Antone didn't win The Biggest Loser, he is still my favorite...and he looks really good!

I am encouraged and motivated to keep going!